i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
