He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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