I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
