Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
