I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
