do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
