I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
