He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
