I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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