Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
