i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
