Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
