Where is the hickey?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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