I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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