cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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