I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
