i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
