Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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