Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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