fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
