i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
