oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
