As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
