Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
