And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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