i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize