problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
