i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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