He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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