I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
