I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
