And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize