She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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