So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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