i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
