He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
