No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
