it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
