idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
