wanna go halves on a baby?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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