...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
