pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
