doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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