Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
