is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You can't just leave with hair like that
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
