Don't you send me to vm
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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