hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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