I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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