I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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