Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
