I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
