so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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