i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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