Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
