I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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