If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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