Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
