he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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