my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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