Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
