Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
